How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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