Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
