I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
