like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize