Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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