why didn't you poke me back
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
