Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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