I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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