No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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