She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
