I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
