If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
