my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
