You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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