turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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