Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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