I swear she didn't look like that last week.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
