Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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