I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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