Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
