I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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