I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
