There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
