You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I understand Curling. That high.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
