Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
