is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
