I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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