Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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