I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
