Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
