SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
