have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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