You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Randomize