So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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