in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
