Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
