dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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