dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize