I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
