I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
