Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
