Kiss
Puke
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
