I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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