It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
