That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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