Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
