90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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