Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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