Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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