i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
