My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
