Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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