4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
