You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Welp...herpes.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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