Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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