yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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