Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
