I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
