yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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