I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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