just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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