I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
