You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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