Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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