i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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