that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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